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Promotional Consideration: America's toughest commandos

Promotional Consideration is a weekly feature about the Nintendo DS advertisements you usually flip past, change the channel on, or just tune out.

Considering all the coverage we've given Contra 4 this past month, it was only a matter of time before the run-and-gun series somersaulted into one of our columns. This week's edition of Promotional Consideration rummages through the attic of years long past, pulling out two moth-eaten Contra ads from our faraway youth. Reminisce with us past the break.

Konami had the distinction of making not only our favorite NES games during our formative years, but some of our favorite print advertisements for them as well. The two that will be taking center stage this time around are the original Contra and its sequel, Super C. We've skipped the third NES Contra title, Contra Force, as the game has since been retconned from the series' official continuity. Also, uh, we couldn't find any ads for it.

"They've got the power. You've got the control."
Click the resized picture for a larger version.

Oiled muscles. Stern scowls. Crappy fog machine.

Contra shares this full-page ad with its overhead-shooter cousin, Jackal, saving a few bucks in advertising costs for Konami. We can't really find any fault with the company's penny-pinching, as both games are fantastic.

It's worth noting that the two soldiers leaning on the jeep, Cpl. Grey and Lt. Bob, appear a lot less brawny than Bill and Lance on the right. We wonder if the Jackal models felt intimidated during the photo shoot, or even slighted. "Um, how come we didn't get to pose with any of the big guns? And what about the bandannas? I thought we were gonna get to wear bandannas too?" Maybe that's why Lt. Bob is gritting his teeth in the background. Doesn't he look a lot like Chandler from Friends?

The macho men-at-arms dominate the page, leaving just enough space at the bottom for the games' boxes, two screenshots (one apiece), Konami's logo, and a single sentence of copy. The dramatic text above, "They've got the power. You've got the control," were meant to give young readers the impression that with just an NES controller in their hands, they, too, could be one of America's toughest commandos. Reading the rallying phrase now, however, immediately brings up memories of Snap!'s 1990 pop hit, "The Power."

"If the world ends tomorrow it's all your fault."
Click the resized picture for a larger version.

Day of judgment. Alien menace. Grab the guns.

Like Contra Force, Snake's Revenge was divorced from its series' canon, taking place in a universe parallel to Metal Gear's. That established, we'll push the game aside, as well as any mention of its embarrassingly named endboss, Higharolla Kockamamie.

Super C was afforded two screenshots with this ad, benefiting from the absence of generic GIs. There's also room for a lot more copy -- and what wonderful copy! Almost every word has been perfectly measured and plotted, designed to titillate the minds of kids who've watched far too many action movies.

"Mega-hit mega-wars?" "Planet-blistering weapons?" "Levels of mass destruction?" Yes, you read that right -- LMDs. Like a teenager who just got to second base after months of negotiation, our heads were filled to the brim with jubilation reading this advertisement. The abridged listing of equippable weapons (Rocket launchers, flame throwers, and laser guns!) became bullet points for a video game world that would make heroes out of us all.

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