In a week when Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift and Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword failed to penetrate any of Europe's charts, the locals instead turned to the non-game. Ubisoft's My Health Coach: Manage Your Weight (My Weight Loss Coach in North America) was the highest-ranking new DS entry on the continent, with a TV campaign ensuring it reached 27th in the UK. Cooking Guide: Can't Decide What To Eat? also enjoyed a more successful second week, rising eight places in Britain and just squeezing into Ireland's top ten.

Next week, Europeans welcome the arrival of Bakushow and Arkanoid DS, and will hopefully not stave off the newest Space Invaders. Let them take you over, puny Earthlings! Heck, they'd run this planet better than us anyway.

As far as serious chart contenders go (because let's face it: none of the aforementioned three are going to sell in the bajillions), the two latest Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games are hitting stores. Expect some top ten finishes from those.

The latest footage of Renegade Kid's Moon convinced us (and IGN's Matt Casamassina) that the game could be something special, though a few of you evidently still need some encouragement. In the comments, reader John B. argued that no matter how much impressive technology Renegade Kid throws at Moon, it wouldn't be enough, because first-person shooters just don't work as well on the DS.

We're of the opinion that the handheld currently lacks a great FPS, but do you think the DS will ever see a triple-A game in this genre, given its obvious technical limitations?

We're no strangers to scrawling information across our arms and concealing it beneath our sleeves before taking an exam -- it's precisely this kind of devilish act that got us through most of school. Yet thanks to its intensive use of Japanese, Bokura no Terebi Game Kentei (Our TV Game Exams) left us stumped -- at least until Spencer of Siliconera sneaked into the headmaster's Namco Bandai's office and grabbed some of the "answers" to the title's numerous tests.

In his time with the microgame compilation, Spencer passed exams by hitting a home run in Family Stadium, collecting 13 balloons in Mappy, getting a ship captured and then recovering it in Galaga, and digging to the bottom of the stage in Dig Dug. Head past the break to read more of Bokura no Terebi Game Kentei's challenges, but don't even think about telling teacher we told you.

We don't just love MarkerMan for its imaginative physics-based puzzles, or because of the similarities it shares with the tremendous Pocket Physics. We also adore it because finally, for the first time since Pac-Man hit the scene, we have a character who is simple enough for us to draw effectively. Brilliantly, even. No longer will we have to endure the cruel snickering of DeviantARTists when we submit our crudely drawn tributes to Marth. The picture to the right isn't a piece of official MarkerMan art, but we'd totally forgive you for thinking it was!

And now, European artists will be able to try and better our efforts, because Majesco has signed up the rights to publish MarkerMan in the region. For the Euro release, the camel case will be dropped from the title, with the game instead known as Marker Man Adventures. It launches there in early 2009.

In the meantime, if you want to use this image in your European campaign, Majesco, just drop us a line on 000-1337-1337, and we can discuss fees.

[Via press release]

Two Game Boy Advance games have randomly appeared in the Stars Catalogue, leading us to surmise that Nintendo has been spring-cleaning its warehouses and found a bunch of old, unsold stock. Kirby & The Amazing Mirror and Mario Power Tennis are both decent purchases, we suppose, even if the price (5000 Stars each) is steep (you'd need to buy at least 20 DS games to amass that many Stars). We're still waiting on the warehouse with all the sealed Super Famicom consoles to get cleared out (it must exist somewhere).

Some other new tat has also been added, including a Pokémon sports bag, and three further items that have (inexplicably) sold out: a Raving Rabbids T-shirt, a Pokémon Mystery Dungeon bookmark, and a Brain Training pen. Don't all rush at once, please.

[Update 1: And the Kirbster has sold out!]

Just in case that tiny snippet from Shonen Jump magazine and a countdown site wasn't enough confirmation for you doubting Thomases, Square Enix just pumped out a press release detailing its ZOMG MEGATON DS version of Chrono Trigger.

Judging by this, the DS iteration will look and sound very much like the SNES game -- Akira Toriyama's artwork will make the jump, for example, as will Yasunori Mitsuda's musical score. It's also being tweaked here and there to suit the DS's feature-set, so there'll be full touchscreen functionality, dual screen presentation, and most intriguingly, a wireless play mode, the details of which have yet to be fleshed out. Oh, and there's a brand new dungeon planned as well. Not exactly a straight port, then, but also not a dramatic remake. But heck, who's complaining? It's Chrono Trigger on the DS, which is what you all asked for!

And here's the best bit: the game will be hitting North America this Holiday season. Better get saving.

[Via press release]

We were so close to using "Skansas" for that title. So close. Anyway, RIZ-ZOAWD, Media Vision's gorgeous game interpretation of The Wizard of Oz, has made an appearance in the pages of Japanese mag V-Jump, where it continues to look all red-heeled and lovely.

There's a serving of character art featuring the cowardly tin woodman, the brainless lion, and the heartless scarecrow (no, wait ...), new screens, and a brief guide to using the green, touch-sensitive trackball that steers Dorothy and Toto. This appears to be quite the versatile tool, with different strokes of the stylus allowing Dorothy to walk, run, and jump, but we can't stop thinking of Microsoft's awful trackball mice whenever we see it. Maybe that's just us, though.

Gamekyo has the full scans, so click your heels and get over there for a peek!

Why do you collect the games? Is it simple nostalgia, the knowledge that the games are a fairly safe financial investment, or something else?

MP: It's mostly nostalgia. At some point, after spending so much money on the games, you can't help it but see it as an investment as well, but if one decided to focus on that aspect alone it would make the process very wearing, because prices change all the time. I try not to think too much about it and enjoy collecting.

AC: The initial trigger for the first purchase was nostalgia. Gathering a small collection after that was a no-brainer, as games generally cost me less than a pound each at car boot sales that I was already visiting. Then, when I found out about how many other games were available, it seemed like a reachable goal to collect them all. After all, fifty-nine or sixty games is easily doable compared to some other types of collections, where there is no real target, or where there are hundreds or even thousands of titles. I never collected for an investment, although being tight I've always bought well, with a couple of exceptions, so I'm pretty certain that I'll always get my money back.

What's the most you've spent on an individual game?

AC: [This was] one of the exceptions I referred to in my last answer! A loose Flagman, which was the last game I needed to get to fifty-nine, cost me $450, which at the time was just under £300. Then, I had to pay import duty and tax as well. All in all, it cost me about $700/£350. At the time it was a tad expensive, but nowadays it's worth less than a third of what I paid.

MP: I think it was nearly $1,200 or so, on my boxed Super Mario Bros. Special Edition. I know it's a lot, but fortunately nowadays prices have dropped considerably, so new collectors shouldn't be put off by this.


What is the upkeep like?

AC: None, so long as you keep them out of the sun and the air. Sun is their worst enemy, and will discolor the cases and destroy the screens, as well as fading the boxes. Airborne dust can get in to the boxes as well, affecting the surface. I keep them all in a couple of metal "flight cases," which keeps them safe. Probably the nicest way to keep them is in a glass display cabinet, as long as it's not open to the air and away from sunlight!

MP: Well, I've placed all my boxed games in plastic boxes and I stored them in a glass cabinet for display reasons. I don't smoke and the weather conditions here are mild, so not much else is needed.

If you could give just one piece of advice to somebody who was thinking of starting up a collection, what would it be?

MP: My advice would be: set a specific goal for your collection and take your time collecting the items. The urge to get all of the games quickly is almost impossible to resist, but waiting for the right time is both more enjoyable in the long run and cheaper!

AC: Easy. Go slow. Don't buy up every game the first time you see it, as more will come along, especially nowadays when you can guarantee to see all sixty games on Ebay in the course of a few days. Finding bargains is great fun and very satisfying, so look out for those rather than buying the expensive ones. Once you get towards the end, the games get expensive and appear less frequently, so the enjoyment is slightly outweighed by the expense!

Also, decide on your ultimate goal before you get too far. For example, if you plan to go for a full boxed collection, then don't bother buying loose games, as you'll only end up selling them and wasting effort and money.

Thanks for your time, guys!

What is it that appeals to you about the Game & Watch games themselves?

AC: To me it's the simple design, chunky graphics, and great playability. No clones of the era ever looked as good, and I don't think that Nintendo created any portable game that was quite so well-designed until the DS Lite.

MP: Most collectors start collecting out of sentiment because the games remind them of their youth. I'm no exception. The games were very addictive back then, despite their simple design, and they still are, at least for me. The build quality was amazing. After all, 99.9% of the games still work today! When I got my first Game & Watch game, it was magical. That feeling came back when I got my first game off of Ebay. The whole process is just magical for me.

What's your favorite model, and why?

MP: The one game I'm most fond of is the Donkey Kong Jr. Tabletop model, mostly because I played with it a lot when I was little, and also because it still stands out from the rest of the games due to its colorful sprites, music, and varied gameplay.

AC: Ooh, tricky one. I couldn't pick a favorite game because there are so many games that I love playing. For the gameplay, I'd have to narrow it down to three: Chef, Mickey Mouse, and Bombsweeper. I think that the original Wide Screen series is my favorite design, which narrows it down to Chef or Mickey Mouse overall.


Do you still play them, and if so, how regularly?

AC: Not often nowadays. Probably only if I get them out of the case for some other reason. Maybe a couple of times a year. I have two small kids and no spare time!

MP: Yes, I do occasionally play with my Donkey Kong Jr. Wide Screen game, but my free time is rather limited, so I won't break any high scores any time soon.

What do your immediate family and friends think of your hobby?

MP: Actually they were quite impressed when I showed them my collection! Most of my friends used to play with the games when they were little as well so they share my sentiments. My wife was a different matter. She was also impressed when I showed her my special Super Mario Bros. game and some of my other games, but when she heard how much I've spent on them she nearly killed me!

AC: They don't think I'm mad if that's what you're thinking. The wife was a bit surprised at some of the prices, but luckily I never went too over the top! Generally, they think it's a worthwhile pastime.

World Destruction isn't the only RPG Sega is cooking up for the DS right now. The company is also slaving over a DS adaptation of Blazer Drive, Seishi Kishimoto's popular manga set in a futuristic Tokyo where society has developed "Mystickers," adhesives which contain various elements (electricity, ice, light, etc.) and assist in day-to-day life.

Certain individuals -- known as "Blazers" -- can activate Mystickers on their skin, and this plot mechanism plays a role in the Blazer Drive game. In the title's turn-based battles, Mystickers can be applied to characters using the stylus to let them attack, use special skills, or generate combos. Players fill the boots and spiky hair of Shiro and Tamaki, two Blazers.

A localization of Blazer Drive looks unlikely, but to be honest we're surprised that it's even getting a game of its own -- the manga can't be more than three months old! Check out more screens beyond the break.

We learned of Disgaea's delay in the States earlier this month, but for those of you who demand greater specificity in your release dates, Nippon Ichi's most recent financial statement has exact dates in the US and A for both its popular SRPG and reference-dropping puzzler, Puchi Puchi Virus.

Apparently, Disgaea will be sending us crazy with its complexity on September 23rd, while the latter will be in U.S. stores from July 22nd. That's really soon and sudden, especially considering how many delays Puchi Puchi has suffered! The question is: did you remember to pick up your free Anti-Virus Stress Reliever?

French site Wiiz has several screenshots of Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir, Big Fish Games' new detective adventure game and leading candidate for most groan-worthy pun-based title of 2008.

As we know next to nothing about the game (typically for a Nintendo-published title, little has been revealed, despite its release date of September 8th being really close), these allowed us to indulge in some detective work of our own. Grabbing our deerstalker and magnifying glass, we discovered that the game's shameless punnery extends to the characters (see: Cole Minor, a gem prospector), and that the DS's microphone will come into use. Whether you're for or against implementing the mic in games, it doesn't look as though developers are ready to give up on it yet.

Check past the break for more shots.

If Europeans feel their food has lacked variety and flavor this week, they've only themselves to blame. Cooking Guide: Can't Decide What to Eat? was a bit of a failure with consumers, despite our predictions of great things for the title last week, so don't come moaning to us when your beef bourguignon goes awry! Only the UK showed a mild appetite for the non-game, pushing it to 19th. New International Track & Field, meanwhile, didn't even get close to any chart.

Still, it's not as though Euro consumers Can't Decide What to Buy -- most top tens are filled with the usual suspects, at least until next week, when Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift and Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword arrive on our fair shores. Until then, scour all manner of charts past the break!