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DS Daily: Common usage

I don't understand...It'd be cool to live in Japan, we've always said. The food, the culture, the fact that by 2011, 89% of the Japanese will own a DS ... wait, what?

That's insane. Ridiculous. Incomprehensible. We're quite sure that not even close to 89% of Americans have a web-connected computer (2003 U.S. census figures showed 55%), and it's almost assumed in today's society that you've got access to the internet at home.

With such a ubiquitous, portable, and interactive device, it's amazing that the Japanese haven't truly capitalized on its potential. They've got English dictionaries and day planners and all that, but everyone's got one! Why not introduce eBooks, or DS-enabled fast food drive-thrus, or ...! Well, we're maybe not so good at this. What would you guys do with that ridiculous penetration rate?

Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 4 - Jun. 10: Harry Potter edition

BUY THIS BOOK FOOLZThe final release of Harry Potter, one of the most widespread, wonderful literary series ever written, is coming to a close come July 21st. We'd like to take a moment and salute J. K. Rowling for reintroducing the better part of a world to the joys of reading, because hey, if no one read, we'd be out of our jobs. Pick up Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as soon as you can, guys. Trust us.

Harry Potter and the Japanese Hardware Sales

"Harry," said Ron, slightly out of breath, "Snape'll go nutters if we're late again. Remember what he did to Neville?"

"Yeah," replied Harry, throwing himself down a shifting staircase and sprinting through the corridors. Snape had used a particularly nasty hex on the frequently tardy Neville, turning his hands into N-Gages. Harry allowed himself a momentary shudder.

They rounded a corner and began the descent into Snape's dungeon of a classroom, Harry's least favorite place at Hogwarts. Even disregarding his immense dislike of Severus Snape, Harry had never had much of a knack for Potions; it was always his lowest grade of the term.

Continue reading Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 4 - Jun. 10: Harry Potter edition

Pokemon cheaters banned

And they do.A primary concern of Pokemon Diamond/Pearl (or, at least, that of this blogger) is the incredibly rampant cheating. In the past, use of an Action Replay wasn't a horrible offense ... your team would be uber, and a couple of your personal friends might be a bit ticked, but that was all.

These days, in the era of Wi-Fi, ridiculously impossible trades litter the GTS. What, you don't have a Level 100 shiny Palkia? Well, hmph, you can't have my Level 7 Munchlax, then. For honest players, or those that don't have access to hacking tools, such Pokemon would take days to train up and impossible luck/determination for one with shiny status. That's why we're happy that Nintendo is cracking down on some Action Replay users, specifically ones using the "All 493 Pokemon," "All Shiny," and "National-Dex" cheats. They will henceforth be banned from online barter.

Feel free to start a flamewar regarding the justification of cheating, by the way. We're pyros.

DS Daily: Dream fighter

Ninjas win. Always.
Let's face it: there aren't many decent fighters for the DS. Japan received the superb Jump Superstars, featuring an insanely large cast of everyone's favorite anime characters, but was not seen fit for localization. While DS Fanboy is all about hopes and dreams, we're also about violence; with that in mind, what fictional characters would you like to see slug it out?

We eliminate standard Nintendo characters; we already have Smash Bros. for those rivalries. We're talking real pirate vs. ninja stuff here. Suggestions among our staff have included Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea against Nemo from Finding Nemo, and the singer of Bananaphone against Charlie the Unicorn.

Japanese hardware sales, May 28 - Jun. 3: Explanatory Aqua Teen edition

FROM THE PASTWe know, you were disappointed. Last night, as you happily refreshed DS Fanboy every nine seconds or so looking for this week's Japanese hardware sales, the vim slowly faded from your eyes as the hours ticked into oblivion. We would never willingly deprive our readers so; we were unavoidably delayed! You see ....

Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him ... there were the moon men, reigning over the Earth. But this was not the Earth you knew! It was covered in jelly and high-density motor oil, making the planet very slippery. The moon men blamed the corporations, and there was a war and many were killed. The battle raged for millennia until 8000 A.D., when the moon men realized they were not actually from the moon, but from rural Pennsylvania. They then built a monument to the moon but then the Quakers stole it and filled it with oatmeal, and no one knew what flavor. Californians were highly displeased and turned all the Quakers invisible, which is why you never see them anymore. And that ... is where babies come from.

- DS Lite: 123,140 4,321 (3.39%)
- Wii: 69,748 11,104 (18.93%)
- PSP: 26,358 261 (1.00%)
- PS2: 11,814 503 (4.45%)
- PS3: 8,998 629 (6.53%)
- Xbox 360: 2,219 175 (8.56%)
- Game Boy Micro: 310 97 (23.83%)
- GBA SP: 247 41 (14.24%)
- Gamecube: 226 30 (11.72%)
- DS Phat: 71 10 (12.35%)
- GBA: 16 1 (5.88%)

[Source: Media Create]

Because two strange new forms of input just weren't enough

Boogie woogie woogie.
Not content with resting on their sensory laurels, Nintendo decided to just go ahead and make another bizarre form of input (since it seems to be working so well). The upcoming DS title Slide Adventure: Mag Kid (which could use a better marketing team) will feature a "slide sensor" that fits in the GBA slot of the DS. It extends outwards onto the back on the DS, and when the device is placed on a flat surface, the sensor can pick up the sliding motion of the entire unit on said surface.

It's a little weird, but it's got some cool potential. It does, however, reduce the true portability of the device, rendering both bus-play and toilet-play completely useless. And we sure do love our toile ... you know what, never mind.

[Via Joystiq]

DS VoIP app available for testing

I don't have one.What's that? You're already two hundred minutes over your monthly limit and you just have to tell your friend the latest news? Well, practical solutions include borrowing another friend's cell phone and/or displaying a modicum of patience, but we never were much for practical around here.

For those with homebrew capabilities, a new VoIP app has been written by JSR. It's still in the testing phase, but since we're too stupid to actually code anything, this is how we get those "we're contributing!" fuzzy feelings. Do what you can, we say, and if you also want to shout at your buddy through a DS, all the better. Check it out.

DS Daily: Custom stylus

I have one.
We've touched on the issue of the stylus before; many people use thicker, professional styluses from PDAs or whatnot, while others use some of the special edition ones seen around the internet. But it's a free-thinking world, guys and gals, and reality is such a ho-hum place.

Let your mind drift and dream, and tell us, dear readers: in a penultimate world (that's a clever pun, see?), what would your stylus be? Any reasonably cylindrical shape will do. We're partial to the deadly eastern dragon above, of course.

Japanese hardware sales, May 21 - May 27: Step by Step edition

Only four, not twelve.Some of our readers wonder exactly what they're supposed to do with the Japanese hardware sales every week. To promote enlightenment and worldwide harmony, we've taken the liberty of creating a step-by-step walkthrough of a proper response to the weekly figures. Adhere to these rules whenever possible, and if you must deviate, remember to at least properly remove all semblance of standard English grammar from your comments.

1. Look for any obvious outliers in the sales data, such as the Nintendo DS falling out of first place. This will never occur; advance to step 2.

2. Statistical variation causes slight fluctuations every week. Immediately look for numbers that come close to dividing evenly into one another; this enables comments such as, "lol, wii sold 5x of PS3s this week, pwnage."

3. Should any Nintendo systems suffer a decrease in sales, come up with reasons as to why they dropped. The usually accurate "supply is unable to currently meet demand" excuse is no longer sufficient in most cases. Come up with creative replies like, "redirected shipments of software caused a temporary instability in the retail market," or "lol ghost of kutaragi put a curse on teh DS kekekekeke."

4. There will invariably be a Sony or Microsoft troll, defending his or her own system while attacking your own. Henceforth, we'll be posting IP addresses and relevant contact information*; please take it upon yourselves to attack and/or maim the aforementioned troll, preferably with some kind of mace that grants +7 strength while fighting trolls.


- DS Lite: 127,461 16,248 (14.61%)
- Wii: 58,644 6,451 (12.36%)
- PSP: 26,097 1,408 (5.12%)
- PS2: 11,311 430 (3.95%)
- PS3: 9,627 968 (11.18%)
- Xbox 360: 2,044 18 (0.89%)
- Game Boy Micro: 407 21 (4.91%)
- GBA SP: 288 42 (12.73%)
- Gamecube: 256 20 (7.25%)
- DS Phat: 81 55 (211.54%)
- GBA: 17 16 (48.48%)

[Source: Media Create]

**Not really.

Tetris ice cubes for the remarkably unashamed

So cool. LOLpun.
Some of us prefer to hide our geekiness, fearing a loss of social status and reduced favor with the opposite sex. Others know that such things are mere trifles, and display their dorkdom with honor and pride. For those of the latter, we would point you to a step-by-step walkthrough of how to make your very own tetromino ice cubes. Yes, it must be Tetris craft week all around the intertron.

The steps are clearly written and easy to follow, but some woodwork and silicone supplies are required. If you're a handyman (or woman), go make yourself some cubes: they'll go wonderfully with that Russian vodka. Just kidding. We mean pop.

(Punch Out!! reference FTW)

DS Daily: Overabundance and dearth

Water is pretty.The number of DS games given stateside release is now probably beyond 500 (we'd count up all the entries here but we're too lazy), but as in college campuses around the country, diversity can be a tricky beast. We've seen some great titles across the board, of course, but haven't you felt that the DS was a bit lacking in some areas, while watered down in others?

The most obvious absentees are the general JRPG and fighting genres. RPG experiences themselves aren't too difficult to come by, but standard fare (outside of remakes) is a bit harder to find. By and large the best fighting game for the DS, Jump Superstars, has never even been localized. When it comes to puzzle and racing genres, however, we're flooded with low-polish trash. Which genres do you feel are over- or under-represented, and of which would you like to see more?

Japanese hardware sales, May 14 - May 20: Satisfactory edition
Having issues with performance? Can't seem to keep those sales numbers up? Disappointed in your ability to satisfy Japanese schoolchildren? It's okay, Mr. Miyamoto. It's not you, it's just ... you know ... they've seen it all before. They want something new. They need something big, and yours just isn't big enough. But boy, do we have a product for you!

Trust us. With regular use comes a guaranteed increase in size, or your money back! Girls will flock to you, women will be putty in your hands! After all, we've seen the results firsthand. Yes, that's right, we've sunk quite a bit of our own money and time into this product, and we're just absolutely 100% positive you'll start seeing results within a few weeks. And hey, it's not your fault nature didn't give you a little more to work with! So go ahead and start Training Your Brain, Miyamoto-san, and give those women what they really want: your astronomically high IQ.

- DS Lite: 111,213 52,572 (32.10%)
- Wii: 52,193 351 (0.67%)
- PSP: 27,505 6,928 (20.12%)
- PS2: 10,881 467 (4.48%)
- PS3: 8,659 180 (2.04%)
- Xbox 360: 2,026 79 (3.75%)
- Game Boy Micro: 428 20 (4.90%)
- GBA SP: 330 13 (3.79%)
- Gamecube: 276 39 (12.38%)
- GBA: 33 15 (83.33%)
- DS Phat: 26 13 (33.33%)

[Source: Media Create]

Square-Enix remakes just keep on comin'

Wow.Not content with releasing eighty remakes of popular Final Fantasy titles and making an obscene profit from said actions, a recent online interview with CEO Yoichi Wada revealed that the company has plans to remake an unknown number of their other mega-popular franchise, Dragon Quest (also known, for earlier iterations, as Dragon Warrior here in the states).

Which titles and how many are as of yet unknown ... the information seemed to just slip right out of Wada-san's vocal cords ... but we'd imagine a compilation similar to Final Fantasy: Dawn of Souls. Also, while not officially confirmed for the DS, we can't really imagine these titles going anywhere else. Does this news excite you guys, or are the old-school DQ titles just a bit too old-school?

Phantom Hourglass Japanese boxart FTW

Too cute.
It's stylish. It's classy. But we here at DS Fanboy think that Link is getting a little too cute, even yon cel-shaded version. This cuteness is only made more creepy by the fact there is an old man with oddly-styled facial hair standing right next to him. Damn sailors.

This boxart reminds us heavily of Wind Waker, and it makes us wonder how big a component sailing is going to be in this new adventure. Crossing the ocean became a bit tedious in Wind Waker, so here's hoping the process has been streamlined (LOLpun) a bit.

[Thanks, Braden!]

DS Daily: Underrated

Truly a classic.This one was easy. Lots of you felt the need to lambast some of our favorite titles in yesterday's DS Daily, but hey, we're nice people. We'll let it slide.

So, we've heard which games you would bring down from their pedestals of glory ... which would you raise? Which games don't get the attention they deserve, despite wonderful game mechanics or plot? We'd like to nominate Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, a title which slipped under the radars of Paper Mario fans nationwide. C'mon, it was hilarious!

Wasn't it?

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