Though we may frequently appear to be aloof, apathetic or altogether addicted to awe-inspiring alliteration, the Joystiq crew is actually attentively attuned to the needs of its readers and commenters. We know what you want, and what you want is what we know -- that is to say, we'll teach you how to make an official Joystiq Japanese sales chart post in the comfort of your very own home!Step 1: Create a terrible introductory paragraph
The introductory paragraph helps ease the reader into the wealth of information provided by one of these posts. It functions like a soft mattress placed in-between the reader and the pit of rusty nails that is the weekly onslaught of numbers. Make sure that the introductory paragraph is self-referential, wildly incoherent and not even remotely related to the actual sales numbers. You may introduce a second paragraph if you feel the mattress needs to be thicker, though it's recommended that you implement a silly allegory to maintain interest and "humor."
A third paragraph, however, is most certainly not recommended. It will only serve to anger those that are eager to reach the actual information.
Step 2: Insert the sales information obtained from Media Create:
The ranking, according to number of units sold:
- DS Lite: 163,572
13,281 (7.51%)- PSP: 49,352
6,748 (15.84%)- PS2: 25,987
464 (1.75%)- GBA SP: 2,784
555 (24.90%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,928
162 (9.17%)- Xbox 360: 1,389
857 (38.16%)- DS Phat: 1,159
371 (24.25%)- Gamecube: 904
135 (12.99%)- GBA: 34
25 (277.77%)- Xbox: 14
3 (27.27%)Step 3: Create a final paragraph (must be worse than introductory paragraph)
In your final paragraph, you may opt to analyze the week's sales trends (the Xbox is always a hilarious topic), possibly referring to coinciding NPD reports or pointing out how the DS Lite outsells everything, in the universe, ever. Alternatively, you may use it as a denouement to any running jokes you regrettably started in Step 1.
[Source: Media Create]
Yesterday, we told you about a 
If you live in or around New York City and have yet to part with your old DS in order to embrace the Lite, you may want to stop by a McDonald's in the next few days and try the system out for yourself. Several of the burger joints will have demo units to try out and, if you're lucky (or a rampant kleptomaniac), you might just walk away with a free iced coffee, a handful of Nintendo vouchers or even a DS Lite. These are the times and places you need to barge in:
A recent Famitsu scan seems to indicate that the 
These Tomb Raider: Legend screenshots certainly needed to be rounded up ... and immediately executed. They're not particularly impressive and the one on the right is notable for not featuring a tomb at all. Still, it's early goings for Lara's return-to-roots portable adventure, and if it's even half as good as the console outings, we'll be satisfied. We'd rather it be just as good, however, controlling well and featuring plenty of evil traps looking to mangle our beloved Lara's limbs. There's every possibility of that happening, but confidence isn't particularly prevalent when it looks like the touch screen seems to have been relegated to yet another glorified inventory menu.
3,456 (2.20%)
1,198 (4.84%)
