Man, the boxart for this Japanese baby-care game (or whatever you call that kind of thing) is totally cute. We didn't think there was a way to get jaded non-little-girl gamers like us interested in seeing screens of a baby game, but publisher Brain Toys has done just that for Konnichiwa Akachan (Hello Baby). If the whole game were to look like this, it would be a confirmed Cute Overload.

We have got to see screenshots right -- oh, no, it's Baby Pals. Oh, man, they got us to look at Baby Pals again. That's like the baby-game equivalent of the Rickroll. There hasn't been this much of a mismatch between boxart and a game's real appearance since Dragon Power.

Featuring charts from across the region, Another Week in Europe documents the buying habits and quirky tastes of a whole continent of DS lovers.

Imagine if Nintendo's Brain Training titles really did boost human intelligence. By now, Europe would be an entire continent of freakish, towering intellects, probably on the verge of world domination or something. Indeed, most of the region is still buying Dr. Kawashima's Brain Training, almost two years after it launched. Quite bizarrely, it's even outselling its own sequel in the majority of regions.

Apart from Nintendo's bonce-honing über-hit (notice how I casually throw my mad German skillz around the place), there's the usual suspects here, with Mario & Sonic, Cooking Mama 2, Professor Kageyama's Maths Training, and -- yaaay! -- New Super Mario Bros. all making a splash. That is, except in Sweden and Denmark, where apparently there's some kind of DS shortage. What?

While you dwell on the revelation that the DS doesn't rule every single corner of the world, go past the break for more European charts than you can shake a croissant at. Oh, and mentally prepare yourselves for next week. Why? Two words: Baby Pals. Eek!

Gaming sites are inundated with holiday gift guides at the end of the year, listing the best and most popular games that everyone pretty much already has (or knows about). Well, we're not going in for that this year. Our gift guide will help you find the best gifts in categories the other sites won't cover -- because we just made them up.

Do you just love handing out the most horrific holiday gifts? If you're the kind of person who actually tucks sticks and coal into the stocking of a loved one on Christmas Eve, then this list is for you. It's all about the worst of the worst, the bottom of the barrel -- the games you would shudder to find on your own shelf, or worse, tainting your DS.

Before you ask -- yes, we do love to see you cringe and suffer at the horrors we spring on you. Aren't we sweet?

What's a gamer to do this week, with both Mario Party DS and Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings on the table? Sometimes, we just have to make the tough decisions ... and it looks like Great Auntie Ethel might not be getting a present this year during the holidays.

What, you didn't expect us to choose between the games, did you?

• Baby Pals
• CSI: Dark Motives
• Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings
• Godzilla Unleashed
• John Deere: Harvest in the Heartland
• Mario Party DS
• Petz: Hamsterz Life 2
• Strawberry Shortcake: The Four Seasons Cake

• Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?
• Baby Pals
• Contra 4
• Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Friends
• Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: Imagination Invaders
• Impossible Mission
• Jenga
• Monster Jam
• Need for Speed ProStreet
• Orcs & Elves
• Petz: Catz 2
• Petz: Dogz 2
• Petz: Hamsterz Life 2
• Petz: Horsez 2
• Rayman Raving Rabbids 2
• Strawberry Shortcake: The Four Seasons Cake
• Super Fruit Fall
• Ultimate Mortal Kombat
• WordJong
• WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2008

We presume we are supposed to find Crave's new baby-caring sim Baby Pals somehow entrancing, perhaps even -- shudder -- adorable. So why can't we stop thinking about that scene from Trainspotting whenever we see these screens? Angular, polygonal babies, eyes as dead as the night, somehow not ... quite ... right.

If you haven't already guessed, Baby Pals gives players the opportunity to raise a sprog by taking care of the little one's every need. So you get to feed and dress your weird-looking virtual child, teach it how to talk, crawl and walk, and even play games with it, such as peek-a-boo and patty cake.

Even more frightening than all of that is the thought that this, along with Ubisoft's Imagine Babyz, could sell a significant number of copies to pre-pubescent female DS owners. This saddens us. At best, Baby Pals and its kind are vaguely patronising. At worst, they're derivative, lazy examples of gender stereotyping. With damn creepy babies.