For those of you looking for a weight-loss alternative to methamphetamines, you can finally put down that needle -- Ubisoft has just the game for you! My Weight Loss Coach acts as both a fitness coach and nutritionist to help you trim those extra pounds. Pretty soon, you'll be able to slip into that old pair of daisy dukes that kept your telephone ringing all throughout your high school years.
The casual software will come bundled with a pedometer, an accessory which detects nearby sexual predators counts every step you take, similar to the Nike+iPod Sports Kit. The device plugs into your DS, presumably through the handheld's GBA slot, and keeps track of your progress, updating your personal profile. Based on the data it gathers, My Weight Loss Coach helps you balance your food intake and meet "landmark checkpoints." And it doesn't even give you meth mouth!
The stick-figure art direction is simple but charming, like a Don Hertzfeldt animation, perfect for a genre that doesn't really benefit from graphics that push the system's limits. Check our gallery below for 15 screenshots of the healthy title. My Weight Loss Coach isn't scheduled for release until this summer, but don't wait until then to get off the ice.
Ubisoft's DS guitar ... thing Jam Sessions has dipped down to $20 before as part of a sale, but now the drop is permanent. Both GameStop and Amazon are now selling the novel virtual instrument at a $19.99 price point. As a bonus, GameStop has also dropped the price of the Nyko JAMMIN' Guitar Pick Stylus set, from $7 to $5. A fake guitar pick seems like an appropriate accessory for a fake guitar.
Now, for the same price, you can have an all-DS trio instead of an all-DS duo! Just in case the lack of a third bandmate was the only thing keeping you from starting a Jam Sessions-only band.
Back when it was revealed, Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles seemed like some kind of joke. Surely, such a game could never come to be. Well, sure enough, it's arrived. And not that many critics have reviewed it, oddly enough. We do present some of the few who have, however.
Any of you pick the game up? Care to tell us what you think?
IGN (70/100) thought the game had some flaws, but was overall fun: "Altair's Chronicles definitely needed a couple more weeks of polishing up before Ubisoft's publishing date, but as a finished product it's a fun game for as long as it lasts."
Cheat Code Central (68/100) says it was almost a AAA companion to the console title: "Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles essentially represents an average handheld experience. It has about eight hours of gameplay that is very conducive to the pick-up-and-play experience. Most mobile gamers looking for a portable experience will probably enjoy the fun hack n' slash gameplay along with the fun mini-games. But as a fan of the original console version, I just feel that this game lacked a little of the prowess of its predecessor."
GameShark (58/100) thinks the game is just too short: "The game is short; you can easily complete it in an afternoon-even if you aren't a seasoned gamer. Without any other modes or options, the replay value is very short. It has its moments but it's a tough sell for $30. It's definitely worth a rental; especially if you have enjoyed the original game as it tells the story of how the characters got to that point, and frustrations and limitations aside, the time spent playing the game is enjoyable – it's just over way too soon."
When Assassin's Creed released on the Xbox 360 and PS3 in the latter quarter of last year, it was received with loving, open arms. The game sold well and we're sure Ubisoft is planning sequels. Nothing all too crazy there. But, word then came that a DS game was going to be released with the Assassin's Creed name, as well.
And, it looks decent. With the game releasing this week, we were wondering how many of you were looking forward to taking over as the assassin Altair? Do you plan to play the DS game? Did you play the Xbox 360 game? What are you playing?
We maintain skepticism about Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles, for reasons entirely unrelated to the series. Even the release of this gameplay footage, coming as it does after the game is in stores, keeps to the super-stealthy strategy Ubisoft has employed in its "promotion." The game was never formally announced, existing as a Gamestop-supplied rumor until we finally saw the game on Nintendo's release list and the first screens on the boxart. So we continue to withhold our enthusiasm, even though our eyes tell us there could be something good here. Ubisoft shouldn't have tried to go so far under the radar. They could have advertised this game and built anticipation with decent-looking visuals. For a 3D DS game, this looks really nice, keeping much of the same tone as the console version: stealth meets Prince of Persia. Climbing around and sneaking through a town on the way to a target looks like something we could really enjoy. In fact, it looks like a carefully scaled-down interpretation of the original right up until the pickpocketing minigame, at which point it looks like a DS game again.
Ubisoft's series of training games have been some of the best on the DS: Brain Challenge managed to compete with Nintendo's own Brain Age in quality, and their language training games have been the only ones on DS that are worth a damn.
That's why when we see an announcement (or pseudo-announcement) of a new Coach game, we actually pay attention. This time, according to an OFLC rating, Ubisoft's going to help us lose a few pounds with My Health Coach: Weight Management. They're already taking a less direct approach to getting us to exercise with Quick Yoga Training, but we expect My Health Coach to have more of a nutritional focus. It could be an interesting product for blogger-shaped people who can get over the initial embarrassment of being told what to eat by a DS game.
Developer: Gameloft Publisher: Ubisoft Release: February 5
When Assassin's Creed was first confirmed for the DS, we spent a lot of time speculating about just what it could be. It didn't seem possible that the epic game could be squeezed down into a handheld-sized title, so we assumed the worst, and we weren't alone. But now that we've finally learned a little about the prequel, we thought it might be a good time to reminisce about those dark days of speculation and recap all the things Assassin's Creed: Altaïr's Chroniclesisn't.
Okay, what's the deal here, Ubisoft? First you reveal absolutely nothing on the DS version of Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles until a month before the game launches, and even then it's only the damn subtitle. Then, with our expectations suitably lowered, you spring the first screenshots on us, and they're ... not bad, actually. Quite good. They make the game look potentially fun.
This latest batch has the same effect -- Altair's Chronicles is actually showing real promise. Sure, they're a little brown, but brown isn't always bad, and these are quite pretty. There's even a couple of sensible-looking side-on shots, which gives us hope that Ubisoft hasn't completely borked the camera. We're yet to see these attractive 3D environments in motion, but for now, you can color us impressed and interested.
Europe has to wait for games so often that we should just assume all announced games will be delayed (low blow, sorry), but we digress. The latest game to avoid European release is the DS version of Assassin's Creed, which is now scheduled to come to continent on March 28th. On the bright side, we haven't heard many Europeans (or anyone in general) champing at the bit for this game, so those of you who live across the pond might not even mind this delay too much.
The North American date for Altair's Chronicles is still marked as February 5th, giving Europe enough time to find out whether the game is any good before committing to buy it.
Ubisoft's Brain Challenge is an odd little game. Like their other training games that we've encountered, there's definitely a lot to love here, and that's quite an accomplishment when you consider that the brain-training genre is dominated by our beloved Dr. Kawashima and his endlessly-Photoshoppable head. But the game is far from perfect, and the problems we encountered were frustrating indeed. In the end, however, Brain Challenge just might edge out Brain Age and its sequel, though it's a close race.
But let's focus first on some of the positives. The first, glaringly obvious improvement that comes with Brain Challenge is the handwriting recognition. Calling it "incredible" may not even do the title justice; in hours of play, nary a single problem was observed, no matter how messily fours and sevens were scribbled in the rush to beat the clock. If that were the only thing Brain Challenge got right, it would be enough to give it a lasting place among training games.
Taking a look over the NPD sales data for December, we cringe at the thought of how much money we plunked down on gaming goods. Heck, we're floored by how much we just spent on ourselves, let alone the gifts of Nintendo we gave to friends and family. So, no new games for us this week: we've got plenty of titles waiting to be picked up off the back burner.
Looking over the new releases this week, we can't imagine you all are all enthusiastic about picking one of these new games up (except for Nanostray 2, but we're holding off on that one for a few weeks ourselves). Unless you're some kind of weird person who wants to play Miami Nights: Singles in the City. And, hey, if you are, then that's cool with us. We won't make too much fun at your expense around the watercooler. Mainly, because Joystiq won't give us one.
Hey, look! Actual direct-feed screenshots of the DS Assassin's Creed game! It's a freakin' miracle! We can finally see what Altair's Chronicles is going to look like, even if we don't exactly know how the game works.
As for what it looks like: it's in full 3D, with slightly more success than you'd expect on the DS. The game keeps a mostly top-down perspective, like another early 3D stealth game we know, but seems to close in on combat scenes. The whole thing actually looks fairly sophisticated and nice, for a game we continue to be very suspicious about.
We imagine that it plays similarly to a more acrobatic Metal Gear Solid, as well, with the bottom screen acting as radar. You can also choose from the dozen or so available weapons via the touchscreen.
It's been a long wait, but at least we're seeing something at last from the DS version Assassin's Creed -- the box art. Even though it looks like it has potential, is it a good sign that this is the first bit of media we've seen on the title? The silence may be due in part to the mixed reviews that met that other Assassin's Creed, but we'll admit, it has us a little concerned.
But here's the good: now that we've seen a little of the title, due to the box art having been scanned by a quick-thinking gamer who went in to preorder at GameStop, we'll say that it does look good. It sounds good. The DS version is a prequel that focuses on the origins of assassin Altaïr, and the game takes on a similar, though scaled-down, approach. Concerned that it might be more like the mobile version? Fear not, as Altaïr's Chronicles is not using the sprites and 2D design available on cell phones. If nothing else, it seems apparent that some care went into re-imagining the story for a stylus-based approach.
How does it look outside of a few tiny, scanned and grainy screens? We don't know yet. How will it look in motion? We're not sure. How will it play? Beyond stylus-based controls, we don't know that, either, but unless the release date changes, we'll soon find out. The game is currently slated for early February.
We are, we must admit, surprised that it's not a) a card game, b) mini-games, c) a rollicking pirate adventure, or d) a music simulator.
Altair himself would probably admire the stealthiness of the build-up to Assassin's Creed on the DS. Since the title was confirmed, not a word has passed through Ubisoft's lips about the project, despite the fact that it launches under a month from now. But finally, after a lengthy period of time, we have a full title, courtesy of IGN: Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles. MEGATON!
Of course, that leaves us absolutely no clearer on what this accursed game actually is. The sensible money would be on a 2D platform-based adventure title, but that's pure guesswork. It could be a card game. It could be a kart racer. For all we know, it could be a damn dating sim. But we know this much: the lack of information on the game is now beginning to take its toll on us, to the point where we have developed a kind of perverse curiosity about just what form Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles will take. And we're not proud of that.
We've made our interest in a certain game involving rescuing certain individualities from certain doom in certain dangerous situations well-known (certainly!). With each new piece of media that comes, whether it be screens or video, like in this latest trailer, our desire grows. It was given great marks on the PSP and folks seemed to dig it on XBLA, so we're excited to see how the game will fare on the DS and how the different control schemes will handle.
For those of you looking for a weight-loss alternative to methamphetamines, you can finally put down that needle -- Ubisoft has just the game for you! My Weight Loss Coach acts as both a fitness coach and nutritionist to help you trim those extra pounds. Pretty soon, you'll be able to slip into that old pair of daisy dukes that kept your telephone ringing all throughout your high school years.
Ubisoft's DS guitar ... thing 
Okay, what's the deal here, Ubisoft? First you reveal absolutely nothing on the DS version of Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles until a month before the game launches, and even then it's only the damn 
Europe has to wait for games so often that we should just assume all announced games will be delayed (low blow, sorry), but we digress. The latest game to avoid European release is the DS version of 
Ubisoft's Brain Challenge is an odd little game. Like their other training games that we've encountered, there's definitely a lot to love here, and that's quite an accomplishment when you consider that the brain-training genre is dominated by our beloved 
Taking a look over the 
Hey, look! Actual direct-feed screenshots of the DS 
It's been a long wait, but at least we're seeing 
Altair himself would probably admire the 
