Battle lines have been drawn at the Fanboy offices. While the delusional idealists of our staff maintain their positive stance on BioWare's partnership with Sega to produce a Sonic RPG, the more practical among us have seceded from their escapist fantasies. We'll not live under a false utopia.
Already, we've heard reports of disorder on the streets and outbreaks of violence in our accounting department. The building's fire alarms have been going off ever since a group of writers decided to set all the Sonic merchandise and Baldur's Gate discs they could gather on fire. One editor was seen locking himself in his office, pulling the blinds down minutes before a single gunshot was heard from inside the room.
We were ecstatic when BioWare announced its mystery DS project last September. Of course, our naive eyes saw a future filled with handheld versions of Neverwinter Nights, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, or some brilliant new property. The last thing we expected was another bastardization of Sonic's tired franchise, most likely tying in his ever-accumulating crew of terrible friends. It was also the last thing we wanted.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
6-21-2007 @ 1:08PM
I can't help but think that DSfanboy is somewhat bi-polar, given the article just an hour ago. :3
6-21-2007 @ 1:09PM
you know what they say: opinions are like a$$holes. well, you are a friggin' opinion, dude. lol
6-21-2007 @ 1:21PM
JC Fletcher said...
Come on! The rich, nuanced world of Sonic! The cast of complex personalities! It can't miss!
I mean, the story is the best part of any Sonic game!
6-21-2007 @ 1:31PM
maybe it's the story, it is DEFINITELY not the voice acting ;)
6-21-2007 @ 1:51PM
This could work.
It's not like Sonic Team Game Artists Amusement Works AM2 or however the hell they merged is developing it.
6-21-2007 @ 1:57PM
Idiotic. Just idiotic. WHY must Sega rip the hearts and souls the faithful to shreds?
6-21-2007 @ 2:02PM
I too find myself a little worried about the Sonic RPG...if it had been in the good old days with characters I actually gave a shit about, I wouldn't be so worried, but the fact that there are about 100 characters now and I only know 4 of them (the original 3 and then Shadow 'cause I've heard everyone complain)...
It doesn't inspire much faith.
6-21-2007 @ 2:31PM
I want this game, SONIC RPG! FTW!
6-21-2007 @ 2:48PM
But ffs, it's BIOWARE for crying out loud. I think if anything, they can only revive the Sonic franchise from its state of decay.
6-21-2007 @ 2:50PM
If you guys thought this new project was going to have something to do with one of their old ones, you never followed this very closely. They specifically stated in any interview they did about the project that it was something completely new.
6-21-2007 @ 3:59PM
DS Fanboy has now proved something, they're more awesome than most blogs.
6-21-2007 @ 4:13PM
Mr Khan said...
It all depends on how seriously or not the game takes itself
Think of Super Paper Mario, a game which basically mocks its own premise and backstory the whole way through (except at the very end, where it gets kind of heavy-handed), as long as the game manages to retain that kind of lightheartedness, it wins
It should also retain Mario RPG and Paper Mario's use of simplicity in the kind of RPG moves, but combine the concept of the Chaos Emeralds to get some kick-ass special moves
6-21-2007 @ 4:25PM
Eric Caoili is slow in the pants said...
What a terrible post. From the bowels of Nintendo fanchild stupidity comes the prototypical fanboy rant delodged from the most steadfast Nintendo nerd Sega hating appendix recharged for use. Eric Caoili, you girl in boy's underwear, you know nothing.
The fact that this decision is totally Bioware's, that it was their decision to sell out as it would seem. Though their increasingly consolized development directive means THEY ALREADY SOLD OUT. Meaning that it's hilarious to expect a DS rpg of any classic quality regardless of what franchise it takes part in.
And then there's the fact that THE ONLY QUALITY SONICS ARE ON NINTENDO PLATFORMS. DS fanboy, the carrier of the Nintendo handheld torch, is criticizing a "tired" series that has provided some of the most fun the platforms have EVER seen. Of course, the Nintendo nerd's now recharged appendix for Sega hatred remains ignorant of the fact, just as the full in use appendix of the 16 bit wars of olde was ignorant of Sonic quality.
So, while you dream up a scenario of revolutions for the Nintendo fanboy collective you preach to, you obfuscate to without regard to basic knowledge, you lead astray without reason, you forget facts: Bioware is long gone to corporate interests, unsatisfying and boring gameplay without depth, and they are scared shitless of innovative risks. Sonic remains a viable game series for the Nintendo handhelds, arguably the greatest platforming series birthed out of the GBA and continued on its successor.
You forget that your fanboy interests are already aligned with the Sonic star, that you should be jumping for joy at this announcement, wearing a tutu and drinking vodka whilst goosing one of the PSP fanboys because it's dangerous and dangerous is good. You also forget that even if you can't let your irrational Sonic hatred and equally irrational Bioware worship go, you know that each game deserves to be viewed in context, judged on release, not via previews. That even something that makes sense to logical minds (in otherwords, something that wouldn't make sense to you) can be good, worth playing.
You fail, Eric Caoili, you fail as a Nintendo DS fanboy. Shame on you.
6-21-2007 @ 4:50PM
Zachary Hinchliffe said...
In before "oh snap".
6-21-2007 @ 5:00PM
Eric Caoili said...
more like hot in the pants!
6-21-2007 @ 6:38PM
JC Fletcher said...
I mean, it's 2007 and it's a Sonic game. The best we could expect is Sonic Rush quality, which is to say 'not terrible.' The default condition for a new Sonic game is 'execrable.' I'm glad some of you guys are such relentless optimists.
6-21-2007 @ 7:29PM
I gotta agree with he pessimists here. Sonic is about speed. S.P.E.E.D. RPGing around is the exact opposite of the Sonic spirit which is, unfortunately, fading. Team Sonic needs to focus on fine-tuning and giving us that fast/awsome Sonic game we've all been craving since the dawn of the 3D era a decade ago.
6-21-2007 @ 8:46PM
I don't get where people keep coming up with how much Sonic sucks. Sure there have been a handful of bad console games but the Sonic games on the GBA and DS have been nothing short of spectacular. Everyone needs to drop the attitude and grow up a little. Bioware can't possibly mess up.
6-21-2007 @ 9:24PM
Suck it up kids. This game will be great and in the end you'll all be forced to buy it. Haters, be prepared to swallow a bitter pill.
"do not want"
I've had enough of this inter-nerd slang. I do want this game, and I'm tired of these internet catch phrases. This is the kind of moronic crap that gets thrown around by the DRONES who post at hell-holes like NeoGaf.
If they didn't have these geek slogans most of them would have nothing to say at all.
6-21-2007 @ 9:41PM
We are but geeks. We relish in our own subculture.
Culture, as a whole, has slang. And each subculture has its own unique slang.
Please get that sand out of your vagina. Thank you.
I have confidence in this project. BioWare are good at what they do, so a Sonic RPG from them will be high-quality.
"But slow RPGs are slooooooow"
If you consider the Japan-centric turn-based RPGs, sure. There are other kinds of RPGs out there. Such as Action-RPGs, which are much faster paced.
Another possibility is that BioWare made it a typical Sonic game, but with RPG elements blended in.