If there's one thing we love to cover, it's mature games for immature gamers. Unfortunately, adult games for the Nintendo DS are rare, especially in the US -- some publishers have even made sure to censor the most trivial details in its games to protect our eyes and innocence, lest they suffer the wrath of parental watchdog groups.
Homebrew developers, however, have no such concerns, and have released pornographic projects that no commercial game could ever get away with. We've previewed five of these homemade releases, even providing you with screenshots; the naughty bits are blurred out, of course, but the images are still very much NSFW. Brush your teeth, clip your fingernails, and get down to business past the post break. Oh yeah, it's business time.
Ultimate Sliding Puzzle (Pack Ecchi)
If you read last year's edition of Naughtiness on the Nintendo DS, you might remember developer Kukulcan -- his homebrew game, Virus DS, stood out as an original puzzler (with a disturbing medical bondage theme) amongst a crowd of relatively basic ports.
Kukulcan has returned with another racy release, this time an erotic sliding puzzle spanning both screens. Solving a puzzle -- there are 50 in all, each one using an anime image more scandalous than the last -- adds the unscrambled image to your gallery for later viewing and unlocks the next puzzle.
Of course, that's how we assume the game works. We've always been rubbish at sliding puzzles, so we found it difficult completing just one of them! Who knows, maybe all the images afterwards are photos of cats with poorly-spelled captions!
Porn All-Stars (DS All Stars)
Like Ultimate Sliding Puzzle (Pack Ecchi), space1's Porn All-Stars rewards you with a nude pic for your gallery after each completed puzzle. Living up to its name, however, the game uses photos of popular porn stars, such as Aria Giovanni and Claudia Rossi, as its incentives.
Essentially a remake of Taito arcade game Qix, except with random video game sprites instead of floating lines, Porn All-Stars challenges players to fence off portions of the screen(s) while dodging bouncing pieces and roaming enemies. With each section you claim, bits of a Penthouse-esque softcore image are revealed.
This is probably the only game to ever feature both poison-type Pokemon Arbok and Lesglam star Sophie Moone in the same stage.
Likely the most controversial game in this group, Hentai DS is an extremely brief demo of H-game Hizashi no Naka no Riaru (In the Afternoon Sunshine). Even with only five seconds worth of gameplay, Hentai DS has the power to offend nearly everyone who comes into contact with the title.
The original Japanese release enables players to seduce and fondle an underage girl -- not too far off from the Doki Doki Majo Shinpan series, actually, but later portions of the game allows players to go much further. The Hentai DS demo only covers the first "stage," in which the young girl is sleeping, unaware of the player's intrusions.
While the gameplay demo doesn't actually feature any hardcore content, the introductory screens -- a close-up shot of a girl's uncovered bottom and another image of a woman covered in fluids -- are enough to earn you disgusted looks from anyone who catches you playing Hentai DS.
Gallery: Hizashi no Naka no Riaru
Mammary Advance (GBA)
Developer: The Ultimate Meeting
A chesty variant of Memory, Mammary Advance has you flipping cards to reveal a matching pair of breasts. You'll need to compare more than just sizes to tell them all apart, though. Tanlines, curvatures, and areola diameters are all essential details you'll have to study to complete the challenge! That is, unless you'd rather flip all of the cards over for a minute until you eventually win the game by brute force. Really, after you've played it once, you've seen everything the game has to offer. Not much replayability in this one!
The only game in this list to feature male genitalia (though there isn't much detail in those five pixels), RanAway also has the distinction of being the first recorded homophobic homebrew game. Players are challenged to "Avoid the gay people!" by using the touchscreen to keep a young boy out of a "gay mob's" reach.
If your character is caught, an image of two lip-locked male characters from popular anime/manga Naruto appears. Below that screen, RanAway presents you with the following message: "You got hit by a gay person. Game Over."
We put out a call in last year's Naughtiness on the Nintendo DS edition for more mature and diverse approaches to the DS's homebrew adults games, hoping that, instead of something like RanAway, we'd have an intelligent, erotic game that targeted audiences beyond immature male teens to present to you. We've yet to see any DS titles that fit that description. Maybe next year?