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The DS Life: Portable paramours



The DS Life is a weekly feature in which we scour the known world for narrative images of Nintendo's handhelds and handheld gamers. If you have a photo and a story to match it with, send both to thedslife at dsfanboy dot com.

Have you already found someone to spend this upcoming St. Valentine's Day with? If not, you have only a week to develop a stratagem to trade Luvdiscs with someone, or you'll wind up spending February 14th playing Mario Party DS ... in single-player mode. Protip: Don't be that guy (or girl). Jump past the break to see how your V-day could turn out if you play your cards right (or if you use hackz).

See also: The DS Life: Holding handhelds in public

Continue reading The DS Life: Portable paramours

Japanese hardware sales, Apr. 9 - Apr. 15: 433420-302039 Edition

Do you have one?"You n00b sunnuva bitch," said the legendary knight 3494-5541-9771. "Pwnage ... is inevitable."

"Hah!" said his adversary, 7111-9463-2931. "If you wish to grok your princess once more, you'll taste the fury of my skillz!" He raised his arms high in the air. "363171-765491, I summon thee from the shades of hell! Rise forth and rock this bitch!"

The ground shook, and from a spewing chasm came the beast, hideous and deformed. 3494-5541-9771 stood his ground. No creature would keep him from his princess. He dodged a 7612-8113-4353-1919 and drew his 1913-1564-8328, shining in the darkness. With one deft blow he severed the 363171-765491's head, and leapt toward 7111-9463-2931.

"Boom--" shouted 7111-9463-2931, raising his staff. The two collided--

"HEADSHOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

And all was silent. 3494-5541-9771 had won. He sheathed his 1913-1564-8328 and approached his beautiful princess, 654232-918811. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Did you ... did you pwn him?"

"I did, fair princess."

"Well done, knight. And now, your just reward..."She slowly began to disrobe...

"Wait," she said suddenly. "Do I have your Friend Code?"

"What? I don't need your friend co--"

"Sorry, sweetie," said 654232-918811, donning her gown once more. "No code, no multiplayer." She walked away.

"I ... but ... FRAK!"

(Seriously, Nintendo. This crap is ridiculous.)

- DS Lite: 133,325 22,480 (20.28%)
- Wii: 75,759 23,176 (44.08%)
- PSP: 24,850 6,653 (21.12%)
- PS2: 12,872 1,362 (9.57%)
- PS3: 11,948 2,572 (17.71%)
- Xbox 360: 2,900 63 (2.13%)
- GBA SP: 654 179 (21.49%)
- Game Boy Micro: 617 105 (20.51%)
- Gamecube: 167 88 (34.51%)
- DS Phat: 146 56 (62.22%)
- GBA: 26 14 (116.67%)

[Source: Media Create]

Puzzle Quest's AI doesn't cheat, but you can!

If the number one complaint gamers have with Puzzle Quest is its limited availability at game shops, then the second most common point of protest would be the Puzzle/RPG's cheating AI. People are just as apt to sing praises about its addictive gameplay as they are to howl over the AI's godlike prescience. We've spent more than a few battles shaking our fists at the game as computer-controlled enemies racked up lucky combos and more extra turns than chicken on a rotisserie.

Sensing that the mob was two forums threads away from storming his house with torches and pitchforks, Infinite Interactive's Steve Fawkner made a public statement assuring players that the AI has no unseen advantages. Having worked on the code himself, Steve reasoned that he's too lazy to have programmed anything that advanced.

If that explanation isn't convincing enough, there are still steps you can take to even the playing field. You can unlock a debug menu by pushing in a complex set of keypresses, allowing you to activate several hidden features. Check past the post break for more details on the cheat code and a comic about Puzzle Quest's AI.

Continue reading Puzzle Quest's AI doesn't cheat, but you can!

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