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2008's Biggest Blips: Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles


Developer: Gameloft
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release: February 5

When Assassin's Creed was first confirmed for the DS, we spent a lot of time speculating about just what it could be. It didn't seem possible that the epic game could be squeezed down into a handheld-sized title, so we assumed the worst, and we weren't alone. But now that we've finally learned a little about the prequel, we thought it might be a good time to reminisce about those dark days of speculation and recap all the things Assassin's Creed: Altaïr's Chronicles isn't.

It's not quite the console/PC version:


It's not Apollo Creed:


Or, now that you mention it, Apollo Justice:


Definitely not Assassins of Creed:



Not, as Penny Arcade speculated, Assassin's Crossing:


Also, not as we once theorized, a rollicking pirate adventure. At least, we think. Pirates are insidious.


We really hope it's not like this:


Because that causes this, and lots of this:



And no one likes that.

Gallery: Assassin's Creed



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DS Fanboy Review: Brain Challenge

Ubisoft's Brain Challenge is an odd little game. Like their other training games that we've encountered, there's definitely a lot to love here, and that's quite an accomplishment when you consider that the brain-training genre is dominated by our beloved Dr. Kawashima and his endlessly-Photoshoppable head. But the game is far from perfect, and the problems we encountered were frustrating indeed. In the end, however, Brain Challenge just might edge out Brain Age and its sequel, though it's a close race.

But let's focus first on some of the positives. The first, glaringly obvious improvement that comes with Brain Challenge is the handwriting recognition. Calling it "incredible" may not even do the title justice; in hours of play, nary a single problem was observed, no matter how messily fours and sevens were scribbled in the rush to beat the clock. If that were the only thing Brain Challenge got right, it would be enough to give it a lasting place among training games.

Gallery: Brain Challenge

Continue reading DS Fanboy Review: Brain Challenge

Assassin's Creed finally comes out of hiding

Hey, look! Actual direct-feed screenshots of the DS Assassin's Creed game! It's a freakin' miracle! We can finally see what Altair's Chronicles is going to look like, even if we don't exactly know how the game works.

As for what it looks like: it's in full 3D, with slightly more success than you'd expect on the DS. The game keeps a mostly top-down perspective, like another early 3D stealth game we know, but seems to close in on combat scenes. The whole thing actually looks fairly sophisticated and nice, for a game we continue to be very suspicious about.

We imagine that it plays similarly to a more acrobatic Metal Gear Solid, as well, with the bottom screen acting as radar. You can also choose from the dozen or so available weapons via the touchscreen.

Assassin's Creed DS box art, details at last

It's been a long wait, but at least we're seeing something at last from the DS version Assassin's Creed -- the box art. Even though it looks like it has potential, is it a good sign that this is the first bit of media we've seen on the title? The silence may be due in part to the mixed reviews that met that other Assassin's Creed, but we'll admit, it has us a little concerned.

But here's the good: now that we've seen a little of the title, due to the box art having been scanned by a quick-thinking gamer who went in to preorder at GameStop, we'll say that it does look good. It sounds good. The DS version is a prequel that focuses on the origins of assassin Altaïr, and the game takes on a similar, though scaled-down, approach. Concerned that it might be more like the mobile version? Fear not, as Altaïr's Chronicles is not using the sprites and 2D design available on cell phones. If nothing else, it seems apparent that some care went into re-imagining the story for a stylus-based approach.

How does it look outside of a few tiny, scanned and grainy screens? We don't know yet. How will it look in motion? We're not sure. How will it play? Beyond stylus-based controls, we don't know that, either, but unless the release date changes, we'll soon find out. The game is currently slated for early February.

We are, we must admit, surprised that it's not a) a card game, b) mini-games, c) a rollicking pirate adventure, or d) a music simulator.

Continue reading Assassin's Creed DS box art, details at last

Miami Nights hotter in Europe



"Party in the city where the heat is on
All night on the beach till the break of dawn"

Oh, Will Smith, if only we could believe you and your ridiculous ears. Slated for next February, Miami Nights: Singles in the City is the latest mobile-to-DS port from developer Gameloft (Asphalt Urban GT), advertising itself as a "social simulation game" in which you try to make it big in Magic City as a model, singer, or actor. To our surprise, the DS game's graphics actually look worse than the cellphone version, mostly due to the studio's move from 2D sprites to 3D figures.

Gameloft isn't the only company to blame for making Miami Nights less inviting -- Ubisoft, the title's publisher in both Europe and the states, also did its part to tone down the game's sex appeal, at least for the US. While Miami Nights' European cover features a blonde woman in a bikini, the North American boxart has the same model covered up, now in a low-cut dress.

Is Ubisoft worried about conservative parents revolting over the lubricious image were it to appear on game shelves, right in between Meteos: Disney Magic and My Horse & Me? Or maybe the publisher just doesn't think we're ready for that jelly? Shake your hips past the post break to see the original packaging art and an embedded video of Miami Sound Machine's "1-2-3."

Continue reading Miami Nights hotter in Europe

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