Everyone's doing it, man. People say you can get addicted to heroin, or cocaine, or all that stuff. But let me tell you something, kid. Cocaine doesn't evolve. Heroin can't level the hell up. I got what you need, kid, right here, and for a low, low price.This ain't no gym. You won't find some weak Pidgey crap here, man. You look like a tough guy, I think I've got somethin' for ya ... yeah, this is the stuff. We call it rare candy, if you know what I mean. The devil's Fun Dip, if you will. You want that Dragonite, kid? This is the way to go.
What's it cost? I'm not askin' for much, here, pal. Maybe a couple of sales figures in return for my trouble. Oh, you got a couple? All right, lay 'em on me, kid, there we go, ahhhhh, that's some good stuff ....
- DS Lite: 274,389
134,554 (96.22%)- PS2: 31,992
681 (2.08%)- PSP: 25,319
2,201 (9.52%)- Xbox 360: 2,195
1,086 (97.93%)- GBA SP: 1,811
334 (15.57%)- Game Boy Micro: 1,103
83 (7.00%)- Gamecube: 523
240 (31.45%)- DS Phat: 253
63 (19.94%)- GBA: 10
10 (50.00%)- Xbox: 3
5 (62.5%)Never again, kid? Sure. I'll be seeing you again ... I guarantee it.
[Source: Media Create]
[Special thanks to my roommate, Ryan, for the inspiration.]







Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
10-06-2006 @ 9:17PM
Probot said...
"[Special thanks to my roommate, Ryan, for the inspiration.]"
Are you sure it's wise to post the name and location of drug dealers?
Reply
10-06-2006 @ 9:30PM
Josh said...
Absolutely hilarious, man! Thanks for the laughs!
I especially thought the last part was funny, but I'm not sure exactly what you mean. Hopefully it's not as Probot is suggesting, because it could be that Ryan simply did inspire you to make this without too much personal experience on his part.
Either way, good job!
Reply
10-07-2006 @ 12:57AM
nat said...
The google ad in the rss version of this article was something about Hepatitis C testing saying "sharing a cocaine straw is just one of the risk factors - find out"
Also, many heroines DO level up.
Reply
10-07-2006 @ 2:43AM
BPMΩ said...
Rare Candy is like steroids for Pokémon...
You give 'em one, and BAM! Somehow they got enough experience points to REACH THE NEXT LEVEL.
Reply
10-07-2006 @ 6:38AM
Faar said...
While this has nothing to do with the post, I'd just like to point out that the DS Opera Browser just launched in Europe, yesterday in fact, and not even a mention here on DS F-boy. Yes yes, I know it was "just in Europe", but maybe it's time to wake up and realize the US is not = everything that matters.
Reply
10-07-2006 @ 1:03PM
Jason Wishnov said...
I'd also like to point out that I can't remember the last time we posted ANYTHING that alerted gamers to a product release on the day of said release, in the US or otherwise. If said release make some crazy news-waves (like the recent Pokemon release in Japan), then we'll post it, but otherwise, we cater no more to the US than to Europe in that regard. Though, maybe we should start posting more release dates in general...
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10-07-2006 @ 3:25PM
Sri Lumpa said...
"otherwise, we cater no more to the US than to Europe in that regard."
You have the weekly DS releases for the US but I don't remember seeing them for the EU.
I am not saying that it means you are catering to the US more that way by design, it might not be as easily available to you in the EU like hardware sales are not as easily available in the West than in Japan but if you could post them more often I certainly would like that (though Joystiq has the UK software sales quite often which is nice).
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10-07-2006 @ 5:19PM
Freddy said...
Does the image sort of look like an imperial star destroyer? or am i high?
Reply
10-08-2006 @ 1:44AM
Alisha Karabinus said...
We miss lots of stuff, as we are human and have only six hands. Send us tips on the stuff we are too thick-skulled to post on our own. Plus, we like tips, and you get your very own brackets.
But there's a point about releases, certainly....
Reply
10-08-2006 @ 9:11AM
PRAY said...
#4 :) probably you are high!
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