Promotional Consideration is a weekly feature about the Nintendo DS advertisements you usually flip past, change the channel on, or just tune out.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters for the Genesis was not a game I actually purchased, as our family was one of little means, and I knew better than to let money go to waste. It was loaned to me by a "friend" in exchange for The Ren & Stimpy Show: Stimpy's Invention, a deal which my pal falsely assured me I was getting the better end of.
The trade wasn't meant to be permanent -- that was explicitly stated in the contract -- but my business associate suddenly moved away, Spanish For Everyone-style. Except in my case, I didn't have a sultry Spanish aunt offering to teach me "many things." Also, I learned nothing from the experience.
But before we reminisce about terrible games and the bad decisions I've made in my life, let's discuss this week's Promotional Consideration topic: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fruit Snacks.
In the early 90s, at the height of turtle mania, Farley Candy rounded out your TMNT-branded meals -- TMNT cereal, TMNT "Crunchabungas," and TMNT microwave pizzas, hold the anchovies -- with fruit snacks bearing the heroes-in-a-half-shell license. They were pretty tasty, surprisingly, and in addition to the sugary shapes of Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael ("Gimme a break!"), there were also fruit snack versions of Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady, and Leatherhead. Later editions even added characters like Splinter and, uh, the Turtle Van.
Konami slipped in a set of six Game Tip trading cards with the snacks to promote the release of TMNT: Tournament Fighters on the NES, SNES, and Genesis, inviting collectors to buy and gobble up the unhealthy candy. And if you didn't have enough cash to buy yourself a pack, there was a 25¢ coupon included with the instruction manuals for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time that you could use! Everyone had something to be happy about with this arrangement:
- Farley's enjoyed increased sales from added value to its product
- Konami advertised the game to its target audience
- TMNT creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird raked in licensing fees
- Children rotted their teeth with their favorite cartoon characters
Unfortunately, Tournament Fighters for the Genesis is a mess. The music and sound effects are weak, throws are highly abusable, and the playable characters just don't make sense. The Rat King replaced with a mutated manta ray? A Clone Michaelangelo shooting cyclones with his nunchucks? April O'Neil dressed in a mini-skirt, suplexing a Triceratops? Turtle, please.
Also, the Genesis version doesn't allow you to fight or play as Shredder! Can you believe that? No Shredder! Who in their right mind would leave Shredder out of a TMNT game? That's like a box of Lucky Charms without the marshmallows! Do you know what's left after you take out the marshmallows from a box of Lucky Charms? Something I don't want to eat. And I'm stuck with the game for the rest of my life.
Thanks for the delicious fruit snacks, Farley's, but you can keep the Game Tips!
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
1-27-2008 @ 5:36PM
JC Fletcher said...
I was severely disappointed with Farley brand fruit snacks. Whereas the higher-end fruit snacks offered a sort of mushy texture, Farley's snacks were more rubbery and Gummi-like. I enjoy Gummi just fine, but it's not what I want out of my fruit snacks.
Reply
1-27-2008 @ 5:46PM
Roto13 said...
"Roto cutters"
Reply
1-27-2008 @ 10:03PM
Tyler said...
Rhody cutters for the win.
WTF are roto cutters anyway?
1-27-2008 @ 10:06PM
Roto13 said...
Goldraine? Is that you? xD
1-29-2008 @ 12:06PM
Tyler said...
You caught me. I think.
1-27-2008 @ 6:11PM
manaman said...
Hmmm,
Funny, the SNES version was "EXCELLENT DUDES!" I guess I'm glad I never played the Genesis version--though now you've piqued my interest.
eBay, here I come,
manaman
Reply
1-27-2008 @ 8:48PM
THe Shit said...
I was just about to say the same thing. If he was talking down on the SNES version Id have to unleash hell.