Battle lines have been drawn at the Fanboy offices. While the delusional idealists of our staff maintain their positive stance on BioWare's partnership with Sega to produce a Sonic RPG, the more practical among us have seceded from their escapist fantasies. We'll not live under a false utopia.Already, we've heard reports of disorder on the streets and outbreaks of violence in our accounting department. The building's fire alarms have been going off ever since a group of writers decided to set all the Sonic merchandise and Baldur's Gate discs they could gather on fire. One editor was seen locking himself in his office, pulling the blinds down minutes before a single gunshot was heard from inside the room.
We were ecstatic when BioWare announced its mystery DS project last September. Of course, our naive eyes saw a future filled with handheld versions of Neverwinter Nights, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, or some brilliant new property. The last thing we expected was another bastardization of Sonic's tired franchise, most likely tying in his ever-accumulating crew of terrible friends. It was also the last thing we wanted.
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
6-21-2007 @ 9:56PM
Kefka said...
I'm not too confident... The sonic series started to go downhill when the focus on awesome speed was diluted by stupid shit like lame stories, lame characters (tails and knuckles were ok, but the later ones blew chunks) and lame non-running-fast-gameplay.
Call me old fashioned, but I liked it when Sonic was fast furious fun. The only decent recent sonic games are those that remember that.
An RPG? The paper mario / mario rpg series show that it can be done well... and Bioware are a great company... but in the end, running through levels really fast and RPG gameplay is vastly different. Please don't give us a game that only has sonic in it for the sake of... well, having sonic in it.
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6-22-2007 @ 2:04AM
Eric Caoili is slow in the pants said...
BPM, maybe you should insert Drano into your vagina for some much needed cleaning up that your favorite mantoy Zach Braff couldn't fulfill with his tongue.
Subcultures, as a rule, are full of bullshit. DS Fanboy is representative of a subculture of nimrodic Nintendo sapphic worshippers. They worship the red, green, and pink that Nintendo puts on display for the ritalin addicted Japanese card playing crowd and their mothers, and their dead grandfathers. Their grandfather's spirits.
If you belong to a subculture, check your genitalia at the gate. It will be better served to be attached to lesbians for procreation of alpha she-males. Because if you belong to the subculture of nimrodicity, you might just have Zach Braff cleaning out your vagina with Drano.
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6-22-2007 @ 2:11AM
Eric Caoili is slow in the pants said...
And who in their right mind would equate action RPGs with any type of speed, especially Sonic speed. Sonic is best equated with a racing game if it's not a communist platformer, and while Sonic speed will never be as fast as Eric Caoili's speed in the bedroom. It's still pretty damn fast. You may ask yourself, isn't Eric Caoili slow in the pants? The answer is yes, he is.
Also, did I mention comparing action RPGS to Sonic is ridiculous? Those aren't fast, those are slow, like Eric Caoili in the pants.
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6-23-2007 @ 11:51PM
KennEH! said...
Why make such a stink over a game not even made? Wait for the game to come out then bitch if it's bad.
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6-28-2007 @ 7:05PM
doki doki pantsu said...
2D Sonic titles continue to charm on the handhelds, even if the series has made a poor transition to 3D. I'm actually more concerned that Bioware is involved. The quality of their products has not impressed me in the past.
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