Are you still waffling over whether or not you should hug your big ol' original DS goodbye and pick up a DS Lite? We know some of you are still clinging to the old ways, but never fear -- we're here to help! This week, we're going to look at ten reasons to make the switch ... and ten reasons to stick with what you've got. Oh, we never said we'd make the decision easy.
Of course, the minute we convince you, Nintendo's apt to completely redesign the hardware all over again! But don't worry -- you'll be armed with a list of reasons to wait on anything new ... at least, until we decide to start convincing you to upgrade again. It's the circle of Nintenfandom; you know you're used to it by now.
Up for grabs on eBay is a DS Fanboy's dream: a DS signed by not only Shigeru Miyamoto, but also Satoru Iwata and the voice of Mario, Charles Martinet. Why would anyone want to get rid of such a priceless beauty? Turns out, school loans. But all of the money won't be going to school loans, as the seller will be setting aside 25% of the profit to go to Child's Play.
At the time we were writing this piece up, the current bid was $330.00. We have a feeling that'll be going much higher before the end of the auction on the 19th.
Posted May 7th 2007 11:35AM by JC Fletcher
Filed under: News
Downtrodden DS Phat owners: here comes more ammo for insults from the elitist Lite crowd. It seems that Nintendo doesn't think there are enough of you out there who refused to "upgrade" to redundant systems, and has chosen not to release the Phat-compatible version of the Opera browser (which includes a GBA-cartridge-size memory pack and would thus bulge from a DS Lite) in stores.
Not to worry, however-- much like Electroplankton, you'll still be able to buy it from Nintendo's website and from other online retailers. That's fine with us. If we had any interest in talking to people in real life, we'd have less use for a Web browser.
(We tease the DS Lite adopters, but really, if you've got a DS, you're cool with us.)
We have yet to see the episode in question where Dr. House rocks the DS above, but we wonder why he didn't choose to go with a DS Lite. Maybe he just enjoys conflict so much that he feels the need to go with the Phat so that upon any inquiries as to why he is not using the sleeker, newer version of the dual-screen handheld, he can begin a rant breaking down the inquisitive individual. Or maybe it's the young lady's and he just wanted to check it out? Regardless of how it came into play, we're glad Nintendo's handheld got some screen time on one of TV's best shows (we all know what the best show is right now).
Few things in this world can bring us instant happiness. Among such things are Cute Overload, Sausages, and the butter shave kit. As such, this snapshot (much respect for the Game Boy printer inclusion) on flickr user Trevor & Angela's account caused our eyes to widen and a deep "awwww" to escape our mouth. It's cute, and yet another good thing to do with that DS Phat now that the Lites are out.
Reader Kirk Winters has a problem. His DS Phat has succumbed to crack. As we previously reported, those of us who were still clinging to our Phats lost the high ground when they began to suffer the slings and arrows of cracked hinges, but we never thought it would come to this. Nintendo, it seems, is not repairing the Phats for free, as they are with the DS Lite.
Ninty, where's the love? We thought we had something special.
Kirk was heartbroken when his DS developed the same crack that raised such a stink with the Lites, but when he called Nintendo, he expected to get the same deal. No dice -- they'll haggle, but it's still not going to be a free ride if you end up in the same boat. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. At first, Nintendo planned to charge for Lite repair, so maybe if we raise enough stink, we'll get the same treatment for the Phat.
Just as several wily commenters predicted last week, the original Xbox suddenly (and quite mysteriously) experiences a sales increase over its impressive tally of zero this week. The resulting percentage rise is so incredibly gargantuan and intimidating that it simply cannot be comprehended by the human mind, at least not without the aid of divine omnipotence or persistant alcohol poisoning. The ranking, according to number of units sold:
Other points of interest this week include the Xbox 360's flirtation with the fourth position in the charts (and the huge gap between it and the PS2), the DS Phat's return to unpopular status and the vaguely demonic number of new PSP owners.
The most interesting parts of this week's chart reside at the very top and at the very bottom, much like a decapitated body with Lamborghinis for feet. Nintendo's magical, dual-screened device continues to dominate Japan, raking in the cash like a pickpocket with eight magnetic arms. The ranking, according to number of units sold:
It's as clear as Daniel Day-Lewis' acting ability -- while the DS Lite enjoys brisk sales that trump the rest of the chart combined more than three times over, the Xbox finally languishes in the lowest point possible. Its performance in this part of the world may not have been entirely deserved, but it still turned out to be more embarassing than a discus-throwing competition where each disc has been replaced by a custard pie.
In this episode of Attack of the Show, the intrepid G4TV crew tackles that touchy issue of exploding (slight exaggeration) DS Lite hinges. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they handle the topic with all the finesse and class of a walrus falling out a hot air balloon. In fact, the video of an actual walrus plummeting towards the earth would likely hold more value than a guy smashing a DS Lite. Lowest common denominator, here we come.
Note: Nintendo has since pledged to repair the affected DS Lites for free.
1UP's Jeremy Parish was kind enough to post the above picture on his blog, reminding us all that the lifetime of a particularly stinging internet meme is likely to extend beyond that of a mere mortal. The depicted DS game is Contact, an Earthbound-ish RPG from Atlus, one of the few developers that can don the "quirky" tag with pride even as they bounce around a drunken cosplay party. Our first instinct was to question Tomm Hulett, the man in charge of the game's localization, regarding the whereabouts of his elbow in relation to Sony's battered ribs.
"I'll be honest, I can't really speak for the Professor. He has a mind of his own, and he's sure to say all manner of crazy things as you play through Contact. It certainly seems like he's up on his gaming news, though, doesn't it? I have heard that battles in Contact ARE based on actual battles which took place in space, though, so who knows."
Tomm confirmed the presence of crabs in the game, though didn't specify if they were of the "giant enemy" variety as commonly found in feudal Japan.
It seems Japanese gamers are still maliciously toying with the original DS, kicking it to the bottom of the charts one week and hoisting it back up again the next. Shortages and a shifting focus to the Lite are likely to blame, but we can't help but picture a somewhat nervous and haggard DS Phat staring into a cracked mirror, contemplating whether people want him ... or just want him dead. The ranking, according to number of units sold:
The PSP continues to do well this week (despite boasting only half as many screens as its main competitor) while the Xbox 360 takes a bit of a tumble. The latter system's fortunes continue to look glum in Japan, a situation that could easily be reversed by one ingenious move -- releasing the console in pink. What else have they got to lose?
There are times when reading the Japanese sales charts can be a decidedly odd and disturbing experience, as if your mind suddenly becomes aware that all is not right in the universe. Like a homicidal clown lurking in a dark corner, this week's situation is certainly amusing, but it's not something you want to come into contact with on a regular basis. It's just wrong. The ranking, according to number of units sold:
Looking at the opposite ends of the list is like glancing into the cackling face of madness (it bears a vague resemblance to Groucho Marx). The DS Lite endures a minor slip, its older sibling takes a complete fall down a set of stairs and the original Xbox experiences the biggest improvement percentage-wise out of the whole lot. Did we enter into some sort of zone where normal things don't happen very often?
Yesterday, we told you about a series of DS Lite demonstrations being held at various McDonald's joints in New York City. While some of you made the astute observation that the nearby Nintendo World Store made that sort of thing a bit redundant, it didn't stop one of our fellow bloggers, Andrew Yoon, from stopping by and shoving his camera into every available face. The fact that Mr. Yoon writes for PSP Fanboy will be conveniently glossed over.
He summed up the event as follows:
"The DS guys aren't timely. They arrived half an hour late."
"The games playable include New Super Mario Bros, Tetris DS, True Swing Golf, Brain Age and Big Brain Academy."
"Every person that plays will get an iced coffee and cool (but useless) frisbee thing."
"It seemed like a success: people asked, 'Where's the nearest Toys R Us?' so they can buy these suckers."
"A mom seemed completely entranced by Tetris DS."
Entranced mothers could likely be taken as a good sign for Nintendo's ongoing Touch Generations campaign, and events such as these are a great way of grabbing the attentions of those who call every single gaming device "a Nintendo." More pictures follow in the second part of the post.
If you live in or around New York City and have yet to part with your old DS in order to embrace the Lite, you may want to stop by a McDonald's in the next few days and try the system out for yourself. Several of the burger joints will have demo units to try out and, if you're lucky (or a rampant kleptomaniac), you might just walk away with a free iced coffee, a handful of Nintendo vouchers or even a DS Lite. These are the times and places you need to barge in: Thursday, July 13, 2006
12:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.
McDonald's restaurant at:
220 West 42nd Street
New York, NY 10036 Friday, July 14th, 2006
12:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.
McDonald's restaurant at:
1560 Broadway
New York, NY 10036
4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.
McDonald's restaurant at:
427 10th Ave and 34th Street
New York, NY 10001
Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
12:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m
McDonald's Restaurant at:
946 8th Ave and 56th Street
New York, NY 10019
Just be sure not to get your filthy hamburger grease all over the precious things.
Many would gladly offer up their lunch money for an opportunity to get their hands on the coveted black DS Lite, but unfortunately that simply isn't good enough for the Japanese and European schoolyard bullies tossing the sleek device back and forth over the head of a constantly leaping and visibly frustrated America. Nintendo of Japan's official website has been updated to reveal the Jet Black DS Lite which sees release this September, just a few months after Europe got the dark dual-screener.
Unless the Nintendo of America headquarters are equipped with cauldrons of bubbling oil and other defensive devices that deal with vehement rioters, it would seem likely that the darkest Lite won't dally too long before finally landing on North American shores. Rioters keen on seeing the Noble Pink variant, however, will likely have to wait a bit longer. Attacking Nintendo HQ astride unicorns and flinging colorful streamers at the walls has been shown to be decidedly less effective at stirring up interest -- trust us, we found out the hard way.
85,600 (32.62%)
6,666 (18.55%)
Yesterday, we told you about a 
If you live in or around New York City and have yet to part with your old DS in order to embrace the Lite, you may want to stop by a McDonald's in the next few days and try the system out for yourself. Several of the burger joints will have demo units to try out and, if you're lucky (or a rampant kleptomaniac), you might just walk away with a free iced coffee, a handful of Nintendo vouchers or even a DS Lite. These are the times and places you need to barge in:
_thumbnail.jpg "Dragon Quest IV")
