We usually have to suspend our disbelief when playing video games, but what if such insane situations were based on real events? Take, for example, Contra, a game in which two marines -- two -- must stop the Red Falcon invasion. Without shirts.
Running with this idea, popular comic book blogger Chris Sims took it upon himself to record "The Contra Hearings". Not only does this hilarious take on Contra make us realize how ridiculous the game's scenario really is, but these faux hearings also remind us that the series is so awesomely badass. An excerpt:
"SENATOR ARTHUR WEATHERTON (R, NM): With all due respect, Lieutenant, I fail to see how the failure to equip two Marines necessitates a Congressional investigation. Why haven't we heard from the rest of the soldiers involved in the operation?
LT. RIZER: Because Lance and I were the total forces committed to the Red Falcon conflict, Senator.
SEN. WEATHERTON: ... Oh. Carry on.
LT. RIZER: Right. Now, I know that at the time of our deployment, resources were already committed to providing support for the Bionic Commando project, but sending two men to fight an entire army of technologically advanced aliens... I can't imagine that America needed to close the grapple-arm gap that badly. And our equipment was... well, it was sub-par."
In case you didn't know, you can unlock the original NES game (and Super C) in Contra 4 for the DS -- which is perfect in its own right. So, we expect you to man up and buy it while it's on sale.
For us, not only is the DS the ultimate pick-up-and-go system, but it's also the ultimate pick-up system. Whenever we need a quick, fun bite of gaming, the DS is always there for us. And, thanks to its large library of games, we always have a couple of different DS games that we can pick up and kill our boredom immediately.
Do you have similar games on the DS you can rely on? Contra 4, perhaps? Maybe a little weed maintenance in Animal Crossing always manages to kill your boredom? What DS game (or games) do you look to in your time of need that can be turned on immediately for some fun? What is your go-to game?
Remember Shantae? WayForward certainly does -- the Contra 4 developer spent two years producing the delightful Game Boy Color platformer, only to see it die a death at retail, its chances cruelly crushed by the increasing obsolescence of its host platform, as well as the rise of the newly released Game Boy Advance. Boasting an engrossing mix of Metroid-style puzzles and neat visual tricks, the game was an unsung gem that emphatically failed to register on the gaming public's radar.
A sequel was planned for the Advance, only for the project to be inexplicably shelved with the game 50% complete, but WayForward hasn't forgotten about the series entirely. With the all-conquering Contra 4 now out on store shelves and begging to be bought, the developer has posted a poll on its site, asking whether or not we'd be interested in purchasing a Shantae follow-up, and what platform we'd like it to appear on.
Hence, we implore all of you to hit the link below and get your vote on. If you're still wavering about giving thirty seconds of your time to one of the best DS-related causes we've heard of in ages, go past the break for footage of the canned GBA title.
2007 is almost over, and the end of the year brings joyous tidings of List Season. It's the time for taking stock of the last 12 months of gaming, and trying to make sense of it by putting things in numerical order. Join DS Fanboy for our best-ofs, worst-ofs, and other categories-ofs.
When determining the best games of the year, it's a good idea to go at it from different angles: by referencing our own history of reviews, obviously, but we must also look to the wider journalism community. Our reviews, while insightful and entertaining, were not comprehensive. We just didn't play everything. In addition, one reviewer's opinion is simply not sufficient data to make definitive conclusions, even if that one reviewer is me.
So we turned to everyone else in aggregate to see what they thought of this year's releases. We've gathered the top 10 DS games of 2007 according to their Metacritic ranking. Keep in mind that many of these games tied in Metascore, meaning that if we were to rank the games, there would be fewer than ten positions. It's still sequential, but with a lot of tie scores.
We then carefully applied science to these games in order to convert the Metacritic numbers into a rubric we feel more accurately conveys the quality of these games. Head past the post break for Metacritic's top ten DS games of 2007, graded on a scale from adorable kitten video to unbelievably adorable kitten video.
Well, not all of it. This is more about the highlights, the big news of the year. The kind of stuff that we should look back to and highlight as being memorable in 2007. It's been one hell of a year; a roller coaster ride of hits and misses. So, grab your admission ticket, buckle yourself in and join us for this look back at the news of 2007.
Gaming sites are inundated with holiday gift guides at the end of the year, listing the best and most popular games that everyone pretty much already has (or knows about). Well, we're not going in for that this year. Our gift guide will help you find the best gifts in categories the other sites won't cover -- because we just made them up.
Nintendo's indifference towards PAL regions is infamous, but there's arguably less room for complaining when it comes to the DS. See, the DS is (and we do not use this phrase lightly) an importer's dream. It doesn't faff around with region-specific software, there's a huge library of diverse and interesting NTSC-only titles, and the games themselves are cheap. As in, cheaper than they'll be when they arrive in the UK/Europe/Australia six months from now. Frankly, we can't think of a good reason for you not to import.
Which brings us to our latest anti-guide, featuring the five DS-related gifts that PAL regions won't be seeing until 2008 at the earliest -- if ever. All deserve to be imported without hesitation, so read on fellow PAL folk, and prep that credit card!
Gaming sites are inundated with holiday gift guides at the end of the year, listing the best and most popular games that everyone pretty much already has (or knows about). Well, we're not going in for that this year. Our gift guide will help you find the best gifts in categories the other sites won't cover -- because we just made them up.
All year, we held out vain hope that the American-developed DS Contra sequel wouldn't be terrible. We tried to put our memories of Appaloosa Interactive's two PlayStation failures out of our minds and have faith in WayForward. We did our best to believe that a new 2D Contra had the potential not to be a crushing disappointment.
We were rewarded with one of the best games on the DS, and possibly the best game in the Contra series. It's hard to think of a better DS game than Konami's mind-blowingly manly Contra 4. So we didn't try. We've put together this guide to five of the best gifts you can give this holiday season, all of which are Contra 4. While it would most certainly be enough to list Contra 4 five times, we thought we would break it up by listing five different ways to package the gift of Contra.
Gaming sites are inundated with holiday gift guides at the end of the year, listing the best and most popular games that everyone pretty much already has (or knows about). Well, we're not going in for that this year. Our gift guide will help you find the best gifts in categories the other sites won't cover -- because we just made them up.
Of course we recommend buying DS games and accessories for everyone on your shopping list -- whether they want them or not. But, ironically, the hardest people to give the gift of DS are the people who love the DS the most -- people who live the DS. In a word, us. Game bloggers. Well, not us specifically, but people like us who are far too enthusiastic about the Nintendo DS.
We're so nuts about the DS that we devote most of our lives to talking about it. We know pretty much everything out there, and we spend entirely too much time building our collections. We're emblematic of exactly the kind of brutally insane people for whom it's nearly impossible to shop. That's why we've put together this handy guide to the kind of stuff we would love, but wouldn't necessarily think to buy ourselves. Not because we want you to buy gifts for us, although we certainly won't stop you if you think we deserve a little token of appreciation.
See what we did there? We've given you the gift of an obvious opening through which to insult us! 'Tis the season!
The first time I played Contra 4, I died within a few seconds, having ignored the bullet that sneak-attacked my ankle. I remarked at the accuracy of the death sound and at the humorous Duke Nukem-style taunt that my dude issued afterward, and tried again. The same result. During that first session, I lost all of my lives before the halfway point of the first level.
You have probably read about Contra 4's difficulty in previews. If you thought that those writers were inflating the game's difficulty because of suboptimal trade-show settings or lack of familiarity with Contra, allow me to disabuse you of that notion. If anything, they have undersold the game's difficulty. Contra 4 is hard. It's probably the hardest Contra game ever made.
After that first trip through ... part of the first level, I tried again and made it through more of the first level. Then I made it to the boss before losing all my lives. I found that I could get a little further. As I replayed the levels, a combination of memory and improved response time had me sailing through the early levels like a badass. I was very rapidly getting better at the game, and, because it's so frenetic and twitchy, being demonstrably better at it made me feel awesome.
Why would you need the baby oil? To grease up that buff chest of yours, of course! As you navigate many a hostile environment, keep your hands clenched tight around your trusty gun. Oh, gun ... how you never let us down, keep us safe at night. This is our gun, there are many like it, but this one is ours.
There were some other interesting releases this week, but for us, none ranks higher than Contra 4. But, maybe you're of the mind that you'd rather play something else? We can't possibly understand why, but we'll promise to try, if you let us. So, what are you playing?
Normally, we're too weaksauce for exceptionally difficult games, but we want Contra 4 to be hard. Maybe that's because we want it to last for a long time (ideally the rest of our lives.) According to IGN's Craig Harris, it took over an hour of retrying just to make it all the way through the first level of the game while recording video. And the video is split into two parts, which makes us suspicious that developer assistance did not occur around the midpoint.
The video depicts most of the first level, if not all of it-- we can't tell with the split. It really seems to capture the same feeling as the Jungle level of the first Contra, but with the level of red guys running at you ratcheted way up. We can't believe we're really going to get to play this game soon. It'll be sad to stop posting news and previews about it, but on the other hand, we won't care about our jobs anymore.
Every single step Konami and WayForward take in their march towards Contra 4's November 13 release seems in service to the series' fans, the faithful run-and-gun followers. From its recent Nintendo Power poster to rumors about preorder gifts and bonus retro titles, our excitement, long-thought dead after the Bioware/Sonic debacle, grows stronger with each news item that comes in.
NeoGAF forumite The Main Event posted a press sheet revealing Contra 4's packaging artwork yesterday, and we couldn't be more pleased. It has everything we could ever ask for -- extravagant explosions, guns firing at unseen enemies, and a menacing alien watching over the entire scene. All Konami needs to do now is bundle a bottle of baby oil with every purchase so that our shirtless muscles can glisten while we play the game. Flex and shine past the post break for a look at the scanned pages.
Last week, we asked you which of the many upcoming DS sequels to NES-era classics turned your heart to a heart-shaped powerup. No surprises here: the overwhelming majority of you picked Konami and WayForward's Contra 4, which we've been hyping into the stratosphere ourselves. If you voted for Contra 4, CONSIDER YOURSELF A HERO.
Of course, all of these games look unfathomably awesome, and are all winners. But in the other regard of receiving votes from DS Fanboy readers, Super Dodge Ball DS is more of a winner than Arkanoid DS,International Track & Field, and The Legend of Kage 2, in that order. The important thing is that you guys cared enough about these games to click on a button within a blog post.
The DS is seeing an unparalleled boom in surprise sequels to venerable franchises. That leaves retrogamers and other sensible people in a dangerous financial situation. With many of these games currently yet to be confirmed for US release, we face the possibility of expensive imports, or letting them pass us by.
Even if everything on this list comes out stateside, picking them all will make for a costly exercise and a terrible poll. So we're asking you to choose: given the opportunity to pick up only one new DS game based on an 8-bit series, which would you choose?
At this point, the only things that could make us want Contra 4 any more are the inclusion of other Contra games and a price tag of $0.00. We won't expect the latter, as Konami seems to have this hangup about receiving money for their work or whatever, but we may be getting some bonus games on our card.
A NeoGAFfer reports that the "Coming Soon" binder in his local GameStop has Contra 4 listed as including the first two NES Contra games. The game's listing online doesn't bear this out, so we'll just have to have faith in ... that one guy ... on GAF. As the site's logo reads, Believe.
We usually have to suspend our disbelief when playing video games, but what if such insane situations were based on real events? Take, for example, Contra, a game in which two marines -- two -- must stop the Red Falcon invasion. Without shirts.
Remember Shantae? WayForward certainly does -- the Contra 4 developer spent two years producing the delightful Game Boy Color platformer, only to see it die a death at retail, its chances cruelly crushed by the increasing obsolescence of its host platform, as well as the rise of the newly released Game Boy Advance. Boasting an engrossing mix of Metroid-style puzzles and neat visual tricks, the game was an unsung gem that emphatically failed to register on the gaming public's radar.
The DS is seeing an unparalleled boom in surprise sequels to venerable franchises. That leaves retrogamers and other sensible people in a dangerous financial situation. With many of these games currently yet to be confirmed for US release, we face the possibility of expensive imports, or letting them pass us by.
At this point, the only things that could make us want 
_cg_oct22_kjgfdhd_thumbnail.jpg "Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars")
